Movies
ByAddison Peaco*ck/
Most horror fans are familiar with the concept of the final girl. Traditionally found in slashers, the final girl is the last character standing. The one who makes it to the end of the movie with bloodstained clothes and a metric ton of trauma — but still very much alive. Most of the iconic horror protagonists are final girls, including Sidney Prescott, Nancy Thompson, and Laurie Strode. However, the "Evil Dead" franchise offers something entirely different: a goofy, lovable S-Mart employee who finds himself in the crosshairs of some serious supernatural evil. Taking on aspects of a classic action hero while never losing his trademark sense of humor, Ash Williams is a final boy who grows into a final man,
Though the "Evil Dead" franchise contains plenty of memorable scares and impressive gore, one of the best things about it is its combination of horror with some truly hilarious moments. After a long stint as the iconic character, Bruce Campbell is done playing Ashand ready to move on to other projects. Nevertheless, he leaves us with plenty of incredible scenes to revisit again and again, from classic slapstick silliness to the hilariously grotesque. So get ready to laugh like you're a taxidermied deer head in a Deadite-infested cabin because we're taking a look at Ash's funniest moments from the "Evil Dead" franchise. Hail to the King, baby!
Shop Smart. Shop S-mart! (Army of Darkness)
Universal Pictures
"Army of Darkness," the third installment in the "Evil Dead" franchise, takes Ash out of the cabin and tosses him into the midst of chaos in the Middle Ages. There, Ash must battle the Deadites, find the "Necronomicon," and prove himself a hero to return to the present.If all had gone according to plan, we might have seen an "Army of Darkness 2" set in a futuristic version of London, but Sam Raimi decided that script was just a little bit too crazy — and not in a fun way. We will probably never get a film featuring Ash fighting his way through a dystopian future, but at least we get to see him return to his beloved S-Mart.
When he finally makes it back, he recounts his story to an unimpressed fellow S-Mart employee (Ted Raimi) and flirts with a woman (Angela Featherstone) who finds the tale charming. Ash's storytime is interrupted by the appearance of a surviving Deadite, who he has to drive out of the housewares department with a rifle. From the sight of Ash playing the action hero in his store uniform to his ridiculous gun-throwing stunts involving a rolling shopping cart, this final scene is over-the-top laugh-out-loud fun. "The name's Ash. Housewares."
Who's laughing now? (Evil Dead II)
Rosebud Releasing Corporation
There's only so much blood, gore, and demonic madness one guy can take before he snaps. In a scene from "Evil DeadII" that manages to be terrifying and hilarious, Ash finally has enough and just plain loses it for a little while. While chasing his possessed severed hand around the cabin,Ash, armed with his trusty boomstick, shoots a hole clean through the wall. Because nothing good (or even normal) ever happens in the cabin, the hole oozes blood. Things go from bad to nightmarish as the wall hole (eww) gushes torrents of blood directly into Ash's face. When the bloodstream finally ceases, Ash collapses into a chair — that immediately breaks.
As if that wasn't enough, the taxidermied deer head on the wall begins cackling madly. Pretty soon, the whole cabin joins in. Every piece of furniture shakes with uproarious laughter. Poor Ashley can't do anything else at that moment but laugh, too, with a wild look in his eyes. It's one of the lowest points in the film for our hero, but that laughter is just too infectious, and Ash's expression is just too unhinged to ignore.
Ash versus Evil Ash (Army of Darkness)
Universal Pictures
If you thought Ash having to battle his own severed hand in "Evil Dead II" was tough, "Army of Darkness" ups the ante by having our hero battle a duplicate version of himself that sprouts out of his body. This bit of body horror comes about when Ash is forced to swallow one of the tiny doppelgangers who bedevil him when he takes refuge in a windmill. After the least pleasant meal of the groovy one's life so far, he grows a second head that slowly emerges as his evil twin.
Original Flavor Ash and Evil Ash battle it out while they are still attached to each other. What follows is a nightmarish take on "The Three Stooges" as the two Ashes attempt to poke each other in the eyes and hit each other with their respective arm. This ridiculous sequence gives new meaning to the phrase "stop hitting yourself."
Drug-induced Book of the Dead reading (Ash vs Evil Dead)
STARZ
In the Starz series "Ash vs Evil Dead," fans of the franchise get a look at Ash decades after his youthful battles against the Deadites. It turns out that Ash kind of peaked during his "Evil Dead" days. Since his time in the old cabin, he has taken to a life of working in a big box store, getting high in his RV, and picking up girls. On one of these dates, Ash picks up the old "Necronomicon" again in an attempt to impress the object of his affection.
You know, they teach kids about the dangers of driving under the influence, but no one ever tells you how dangerous it is to read demonic texts while intoxicated. Ash's ill-fated choice of reading material unleashes evil on the world once more and forces Ash to take up the mantle of hero again. "Necronomicon" — not even once.
Klaatu barada nikto (Army of Darkness)
Universal Pictures
Ash is great at a lot of things. He's a hell of a fighter, he has an unfailing sense of humor in the face of unspeakable evil, and he's a whiz with a chainsaw! However, one thing he's not especially great at is planning ahead. So when he is given a series of magic words ("Klaatu barada nikto") to repeat to complete his quest in "Army of Darkness," he refuses to repeat them a third time just to make sure he remembers them correctly. That stubbornness comes back to bite him later when he gets his hands on the "Necronomicon" and prepares to recite the incantation.
Ash summons his heroic strength, opens his mouth, and says: "Klaatu barada... necktie, nectar, nickel, noodle." Struggling to remember the final word, he fakes it with a cough and hopes that the power of ancient magic will just accept two out of three. But arcane rites don't really work that way, and Ash's memory lapse winds up unleashing the Army of the Dead.
This is my boomstick! (Army of Darkness)
Universal Pictures
What do you do when you've faced off against the undead minions of evil, lost your sister, your girlfriend, and your hand, and after all that, you find yourself trapped in the past surrounded by deadites and enemy soldiers? Well, if you're Ash Williams, you use your trusty shotgun and chainsaw to show them all who's boss! After fighting his way out of a pit of deadites and shattering King Henry's sword into pieces with a shotgun blast, Ash delivers one of the funniest (and most iconic) speeches of the franchise:
"Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! See this? This... is my Boomstick! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington — S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right. This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine ninety-five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?" I don't know about you, but if I were a medieval peasant, I'd follow the guy with the boomstick and the crazy eyes into battle.
Who's your daddy? Promo segments (Ash vs Evil Dead ad campaign)
As part of its promo campaign for "Ash vs Evil Dead," Starz put out a series of bite-sized segments featuring Ash giving paternal advice on a variety of subjects from partying and drugs to crime and even college. Because it's Ash, though, the advice is a little bit — shall we say, misguided.
Some pearls of wisdom straight from the hero of Elk Grove include: "If you find your kid's drugs?Take 'em! What are they gonna do?Call the cops?" "Is it a crime to take a donut without paying for it?The law says yes. PapaAsh says, 'hey, it's just a f***ing donut!Lighten up!'" and "Your kid is gonna ask for the car sooner or later. Say yes. Give them lessons. Get them behind the wheel. The sooner they're driving, the sooner they can pick up your drunk ass from the bar. It's way cheaper than a cab!"
Ashy Slashy the puppet (Ash vs Evil Dead)
STARZ
One of the demon Baal's tactics in his fight against Ash is trying to convince the hero that he is delusional and that his memories of the "Necronomicon" and deadites are all a product of his imagination. As part of this plot, Baal presents himself as a psychiatrist named Dr. Peaco*ck (no relation to the author of this article), who gives Ash a therapy puppet nicknamed "Ashy Slashy." The foul-mouthed felt fellow is a little bit Ash and a little bit "Chucky," passing himself off as an ally (and an extension of Ash's own consciousness) while secretly harboring the murderous tendencies of its own.
Watching Ash interact with his little puppet self is undeniably charming, even when Ashy Slashy says things like, "Wakey, wakey! Hands off your snakey!" Ash and Ashy Slashy are at their best when working together, and the sight of Ash navigating stressful, high-stakes situations with one of his hands in a puppet is a great bit of simple yet effective prop comedy.
Ash battles his hand (Evil Dead II)
Rosebud Releasing Corporation
"Evil Dead II" has a wealth of darkly hilarious moments to choose from, but none are as memorable as Ash's demonic game of "stop hitting yourself" with his own possessed hand. After a bite from Deadite Linda infects him, the Evil takes over Ash's hand, turning it against him. The sequence of events that follows features some of Bruce Campbell's best physical comedy in the entire franchise. Ash struggles against the rogue appendage, which attacks him, knocks him out, and even tries to drag his unconscious body toward a weapon.
Fortunately, Ash bests the hand, stabbing it with a knife and later chopping it off with a chainsaw in one of the series' most iconic scenes. Just removing the hand from his body isn't enough to defeat it, however, and Ash is forced to trap it under a bucket, weighed down with a stack of books. Oh, and the book on the top of the stack? "A Farewell to Arms." Oh, Sam Raimi. Never change.
